Cook the Bacon: In a large Dutch oven, cook chopped bacon over medium heat until crispy, about 6 to 7 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. leave all that bacon fat in the pot, you're gonna use it.

Brown the Beef: Add ground beef to the bacon fat and cook until deeply browned, 5 to 6 minutes. don't drain it unless there's a crazy amount pooling. you want some of that fat for flavor and keto macros. Remove beef and set aside.

Sauté Aromatics: Add 1 Tbsp butter to the pot if it looks dry. Sauté onion and celery for about 4 minutes until soft. Stir in garlic and cook 30 seconds more until fragrant.

Add Broth & Cauliflower: Pour in beef broth and scrape up all those brown bits from the bottom of the pot. Add cauliflower florets, mustard, worcestershire if using, and cooked beef. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer partially covered for 10 to 12 minutes until cauliflower is fork-tender but not falling apart.

Thicken with Cream Cheese: Lower heat to low. Add cream cheese chunks and stir until completely melted and smooth, about 2 minutes.

Finish Creamy Base: Stir in heavy cream. if you want it extra thick, sprinkle xanthan gum over the soup while stirring constantly. Let it sit for a minute to thicken up.

Melt the Cheddar: Add shredded cheddar by handfuls, stirring until each handful melts completely before adding more. do not let it boil or the cheese will get grainy and weird.

Final Touch: Stir in lemon juice or pickle juice. it brightens everything. Season generously with salt and pepper. taste it. probably needs more salt than you think. Serve hot, topped with crispy bacon, extra cheese, and whatever toppings you're feeling.